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9 Movie Reviews

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Excellent story, concept, animation, character design, and execution. Keep makin' stuff.

I'm not a big fan of the song, but it's definitely not bad, like 6.5/10. But the use of animation with it works really well. I feel like there's a bit too much recycling of work though. The walk cycle is so short that its constantly looping just comes across as lazy where as the obvious intent is to showcase the monotony of the journey and the bears determination. The sort of sloppiness to the style of the drawings works in it's favor but only so much. When such a central part of the animation is "walk to the right", you need to try drawing it again so that it can interrupt the repetitiveness, or just make the walk cycle much longer.

I kept wondering how you were going to end it, and was pleasantly surprised. I didn't feel like the animation was too long at all or boring, which seems to what others are saying, it just let the focus go to the music and didn't try to compete too much for the attention.

The execution is flawed, but the work as a whole is decent. Work harder on the next project, no more lazy animating.

dylan responds:

This song's not necessarily my favorite of theirs either, but the tone matched up too well to pick another. That's some damn good advice for me to keep in mind next time I'm working on something in this sort of style, and I'm glad to see that you got the idea behind making it a very somber, monotonous journey.

My original intent was to have a different walk cycle at each stage of the journey, starting with the regular one and finishing with a labored limp, but time was my better; the walk cycles ended up being one of the artistic sacrifices that I needed to make in order to meet the deadline. Thanks for the awesome critique!

green screen fail on epona during the opening credits

THANK YOU, finally someone who gets derpy's voice the way I imagined it. The one in the actual show is just an abomination. The writing wasn't as clever as some Dr. Whooves podcast I ran across on youtube about the tardis crashing into Twi's library and scary stone pegasus weeping angels attack them when they blink (still funny though). But the character animation is still spot on, almost identical to the style of the show. The directing could be improved though, the whole thing is in one boring location cutting back and forth. Just a more interesting background would have helped a ton, . The sonic screw driver looked way too detailed compared to everything else. Think of it like how you could draw a detailed apple and it would totally look like an apple, but compared to what's in the show, apples are just a one color red shape with a brown stem poking out. They're extremely simplified. Just study the background objects like pies, bails of hay, rope, butterflies, clouds, etc. See how they're all much more simplified than the screw driver. Back to the backgrounds, you almost never see a shot in the show where the horizon is that high, and the sky is just one color. If you would add in just a simple cloud that moves slowly/subtly in the background. Maybe a bird could fly out of a tree or something (since they're in the background). Speaking of the trees, those are another thing you put too much detail on, they don't match the show. For how well you replicated the character animation background elements stand out as pretty poor in contrast.

Doc's voice is a little boomier/louder than Derps and it has a few peaks where it gets in the red, and the music at the beginning is a touch too loud. Spend some more time doing the audio mastering, making sure everything meshes well together. There's no noise or anything, the individual tracks are all fine, they just need to work better together.

Keep up pacing, it seems to drag a little. Look at the amount of zip-lines used in the actual show, the cuts back and forth feel bouncier and less dry and more in time with the music.

Anyways, those are all areas you can improve in, but it's still really good. 20 out of 5 stars

The only use anyone should have for this is as an example to point to if someone wanted to know what ASDF would be like if none of it was funny at all, and it was slightly slower paced with worse music.

No redeeming value.

Yep, I think we've all done that before

Yep, I think we've all done that before... except I'm generally much more profain

Make an animation, then upload it

the audio track was funny, but a blind person would have gotten the same experience out of this as I did. there's some funny parts in it, the audio quality is kinda weak though. I'd recompress it or edit the audio dialogue audio files for better clarity and volume. The dialogue is funny enough for you to actually spend some time redoing the project with mouth animation and facial expression, especially in the eyes. Then resubmit it. This is more of the rough draft you would use to help you get everything planned out for the good high quality ending. I liked the illustration of dracula's face, but it's not good enough to just sit and stare at for 10 mintues.

ps, change paradox to irony

paradox

well, you get a 5/5 for being entertaining enough for me to sit thru a whole bon jovi song, but you get a 1/5 for making me sit thru a whole bon jovi song...

ShortMonkey responds:

So... you're reviewing poorly because you hate the song?

very pretty

I liked it, very pretty song. the graphics aren't bad, there's room for improvement though, and I'd recommend trying to get princess to emote some more. Since all she's doing is moving her mouth. Even a well timed blink could add alot to a scene

Jared Wilcurt @TheJaredWilcurt

Age 38, Male

freelance

graduated from college

Indy

Joined on 3/18/07

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